Having gone on indefinite hiatus in 2016, the members of One Direction haven’t performed together in nearly a decade and their millions of young admirers have since grown up. But when Dee, now 29, found out that Liam Payne had died last week in a fall from a hotel balcony in Argentina, she suddenly “felt the walls close in.”

One Direction singer Liam Payne died with cocaine in his system when he fell from the third story of a hotel balcony in Buenos Aires last week, an initial toxicology report showed, according to The Associated Press.

Hundreds gathered in Paris on Sunday to mourn Liam Payne as fans around the world grieved for the One Direction singer who died earlier in the week after falling from a hotel balcony in Buenos Aires.